It was easy

The best way to describe the difference between now and at the beginning of IB can be summarized by this statement:

It was easy.

Not to minimize the stressful things I had going on in my life during sophomore year and before, but I had never faced any big challenges that needed to be overcome or felt as if I experienced many hardships. 

I was... pretty close with my family, and dependent on them. This is a picture from my spring break sophomore year to act as a visual. I felt as if I could come to my parents if I had problems, I could relate to Mia and Parker (my siblings) and overall I was happy when I went home at the end of the day. 

Sadly this has changed a little for me since then. Over the past two years, I have had opportunities of fierce independence and developments in myself in such a way that I feel like I have hit my maximum development I can under my parent's wing. I have gained a sense of capability, from being able to run errands by myself to knowing my limits without needing someone to tell me (like not needing my parents to manage my candy intake anymore). I have grown and gained maturity and a strong sense of self over the past two years, and I no longer feel as if I fit in at home, which is a very hard thing to face moving on. Now, things are hard at home as I seem to constantly feel smothered by my parents.

I was... unsure of my identity and what I was passionate about. This picture from 8th grade is a pretty hilarious example of three of my sides. I often found myself acting certain ways around certain people, trying to please them, making things easier for me. I would avoid voicing my opinion on subjects when my opinion was unpopular, and avoid confrontation at all costs.
Certain areas in which I have a passion for now have been formed over the past few years. Two examples are my passion for promoting females in sports and in the STEM field. In middle school and into the beginning of high school, I had not hit the stage at which my love for those two things (sports and STEM) were very limited by my gender. I also know that the obstacles I have faced over the past few years are only the tip of the iceberg relative to the rest of my life. Yet, I am now more fervent in my beliefs and passions, which means I am no longer afraid to hide my opinions. This makes it harder for me to get along with people in general.

I was... good at school and it came easy for me. Enjoy this picture from my sophomore year volleyball banquet of us standing in front of some books and let it act as a valid form of visual evidence for my point.  Okay so gimme a second to explain myself because of course school was easier sophomore year and of course over the past two years school was hard. During this time I had rough times in class, but overall it was never a lack of understanding in the material. I didn't have to study much (if ever), I could easily bring myself to get my work done and do it well, and I had no problems with balancing all the things I was doing (sports after school everyday, club team practices, school clubs, spending time with my family and friends) and maintaining my sanity and grades.
Over the past two years that story has changed. IB has pushed my limits academically. I have shed many tears over stress from school, lost hours of sleep, and had times when I had no clue what was going on in class. I would argue that this isn't directly correlated with only my intelligence, but also with aspects such as time management and mental health. On all fronts, these things have gotten harder for me when it comes to success in school.
 

I have so much more to say that I can't fit in this blog post and some that I probably shouldn't include. Here's some more things that come to mind that fit the idea of that time being easier: 

I was... making non life changing decisions 

I was... more stable in my friendships 

I was... less stressed

I was... given less responsibilities 

I was... so excited and looking forward to being a graduating senior. 

Now being in that position, I am so excited and looking forward to the next step in my life.

Reflecting on what I wrote and how that represents my growth over the past few years I feel a certain message emerges. Yes, the future is exciting, but so many good things are going on around you at any given moment. All of these things I pointed in this post I took for granted at the time. It is important to take time to realize all the things you have going for you right now in your life. 

Also it points to the idea that life only gets harder as you grow up, but those hardships are not without their importance and value in your life.  I'm sure I could write this same thing in two years, if not in the next six months as I transition to college. Things may be getting harder, but it'll be worth it.